40*

“For the word of the LORD is right and true; he is faithful in all he does. The LORD loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of his unfailing love.” (Psalm 33:4-5)

What a great statement to end my 40 Days of Blogging! Seems the perfect sorta verse to commit to memory for those times when I lose hope. God is so faithful - in all he does. Which is so flipping impressive when you think about it. It took a small miracle for me to remain faithful to my commitment to blog for 40 days straight. There were days when I did it out of a sense of obligation, there were times when I avoided it until the last minute, when I didn't feel like doing it, when I struggled to have anything to say. Yet I remained faithful, to a degree.

But with God, there are no degrees of his faithfulness. He is Completely Faithful. All the Time. Which means, he never "doesn't feel like it," or performs out of obligation or a sense of duty or looks at anything with a sense of drudgery or dullness. Hah! God is never bored! God never just goes through the motions. His heart is always in what he does, as evidenced by a world that is full of his unfailing love.

What an amazing quality of God. It inspires awe in me. Sometimes, I imagine him having a bit of that "oh brother, here we go again" attitude about me, but he simply doesn't. His faithfulness to me and my relationship with Him is never ending and never forced upon himself. He willingly has infinite patience, infinite grace, and infinite mercy - loving me without attitude. Gosh. Sorta makes me feel sorry for the days when I struggled to spend time reflecting on His word. Sorta humbles me a bit. Sorta makes me feel I owe Him and apology.

Not sure what I will do from here, now that my 40 days are up - but I am certain I will be posting far more frequently than I used to from here on out! Perhaps not every day, mind you, but often. It will be interesting to see how my attitude changes in response to my daily Verse of the Day Emails. Gosh, I hope it does. Time will tell, I guess...time will tell.

* Yes I do intentionally refer to U2's song here, on Day 40...
I waited patiently for the Lord. He inclined and heard my cry. He brought me up out of the pit, out of the miry clay.

I will sing, sing a new song. I will sing, sing a new song.

How long to sing this song? How long to sing this song? How long...how long...how long...how long...to sing this song

He set my feet upon a rock and made my footsteps firm. Many will see, many will see and fear.

I will sing, sing a new song. I will sing, sing a new song.

How long to sing this song? How long to sing this song? How long...how long...how long...how long...to sing this song

The Power of God's Strength in Me

“ I love you, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” (Psalm 18:1-2)

I am abandoning my assignment for today, or maybe perhaps showing an example of how the Lord has been my strength this week (although I think that interpretation might be a stretch in this story).

The other night, as Bo and I were doing our nighttime routine, he refused to say his bedtime prayers. He does this on occasion and normally I don't make a big deal out of it, I just say them for him - but this time he was a bit ornery about it, so I mildly scolded him and proceeded to pray anyway. Afterward, Bo looked at me incredulously.

"You know why I don't pray?" He smirked.
"No, why?"
"Because I don't believe in God." He scoffed. I cringed. With everything I could muster I avoided an emotionally-laden response and just nodded a "hmm."
"Wanna know why I don't believe in him?" He prompted.
"Sure."

"Because I keep asking and asking and asking him for another baby sister and I don't have one, so I don't believe in Him."

Thwump. That's the sound of a fist hitting my gut as those words met my ears. I paused, and my spirit must have communed with God's Spirit in those split seconds because I am pretty sure that is the only explanation as to why I didn't burst into sobs. Instead, I smiled gently.

"Bohdan, just because God's answer is sometimes 'No' doesn't mean He doesn't exist. Sometimes, the answer to our prayer is simply 'No.' Does Mommy sometimes say no to you when you ask me for stuff." He nodded. "Well, I'm still here, aren't I? I exist, don't I?" I asked.

"Nope. You don't exist either." Bo replied, with that adorable impish grin of his. We laughed and said goodnight.

I guess my point of sharing this is to remind myself that even when God is seemingly the source of attack (provoking a need for the things mentioned in this Psalm), He is still the one who will give us the strength to get through it. He is still the source of protection, which seems to contrary to our logical minds. But as God says no to me about my heart's desire and in turn reveals the heart of my own son, who shares my wish, God gives me the strength to get through it. Not only that, He teaches and guides me through it. Our God is truly magnificent.

Why I Sing

“But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble.” (Psalm 59:16)

This is Why I Love to Sing

Focus shifts from me to them to us to You
I close my eyes so as to open more my ears
The locks unfasten on the doors to my heart

I hear more in our numbers as joined by the unseen
Harmonies of heaven and earth intertwined

I'm set free from this shell and swept up to You
You sit where You should and invite me to come
Surrounded, I dance for You.

There is beauty I refuse to admit, grace my eyes don't typically see
As I dance and sing before my King

And You... You do the unthinkable. You rejoice in my display of Love for You.
And This, This is Why I Sing.

Seeing into the Future

“However, as it is written: "No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"—” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Why do you suppose the verse of the day was taken from Corinthians instead of Isaiah, where we find this quote originally? I figured there must be a reason, so I looked into the context of 1 Corinthians. Why did they need to be reminded of what it said back in Isaiah?

Apparently there were some questions amongst the Corinthians regarding true wisdom. It sounds to me like there might have been some inadequacy issues among the believers regarding sharing the truth of Jesus within their communities. They seemed to believe, based on the encouragement of Paul's words in Ch. 2 that they lacked the wisdom needed to successfully evangelize or disciple new believers.

So Paul goes into this really encouraging speech about wisdom - how he totally lacks it and how weak he himself is and how he can do nothing without God's Spirit. Therefore, it has nothing to do with the ability of the vessel, but everything to do with what you put in it.

Then he goes into talking about how they need to redefine wisdom. That the wisdom we gain as believers is not the wisdom of this world, but a wisdom which actually involves the very same Spirit which lives in God. Thus, we can know the things of God in the same way our own spirits know the things of ourselves, because the Spirit knows God with the same intimacy our own spirits know ourselves.

Therefore, while "no eye has seen, no ear has heard, [and] no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him," with the Spirit in us, God can reveal these things to us.

Woah. Is that saying what I think it is saying? I think it can be taken one (or both) of two ways. Either we can be shown by the Spirit our earthly future - what God has prepared for us in this life, His plan for our hope and our future; or we can be shown our heavenly future - having knowledge of what God prepares in heaven for us.

Either way, that's pretty cool and hard to imagine. I am tempted to lean toward the first option, simply because it makes sense to me that, in being filled with the Spirit, we would have wisdom to know the path our lives should take. Considering this is one of my hang-ups, I may be gravitating to it for that reason, too.

See, every big decision I make (my mom can so attest to this) I AGONIZE over whether it is "God's will and plan for my life." I end up all in a tizzy wishing God would send me a telegram or something REALLY obvious so I would have confidence I was walking the path He has laid out for me, not veering to the left or to the right. I look forward to the day when God grants me, through my humble submission to Him and the abundant indwelling of His Spirit, the kind of confidence and wisdom this verse suggests. With a glance at my post-it attached to my computer screen, I pray, "Lord, fill me with your Spirit and give me wisdom for this day. Amen."

I Love Him, I Love Him Not

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5)

Isn't it maddening that something that sounds so simple is so flipping hard to do??!!! That was my response to reading this verse today. When I think about loving something or someone with all my heart, soul and strength I think about how much I would want to spend time with that person or doing that thing. I think about how they would consume my every waking thought and my dreams at night. I think about how I would do anything, sacrifice anything for that person or that thing.

And yet, here I sit, still struggling to remember to pray. Struggling to make reading God's word a priority. Struggling to seek Him and His kingdom first. Struggling to find ways to daily surrender to His will for my life. Struggling to know His heart for me. Struggling. Struggling. Struggling.

I don't want to believe this all means I don't love God. But my actions sure speak louder than my words. Sometimes I wonder what it will take for me to develop that insatiable passion for Jesus that I see in others (a rare few, mind you). And I get scared. The people I know who love Jesus with an utter abandon that I honestly find intimidating if not plain out there are people who have been to hell and back. Is it possible to love God with all our heart, mind and soul without the trip through the ringer? Is it possible to achieve a mature faith without the trials and suffering? I don't honestly know.

I say I want to love God, mind, soul and body, but at what cost am I willing to really pursue that? Am I wrong to think there is a cost? I don't think so - historically loving God like that hasn't bode well for folks. Think of the disciples, Joan of Arc, the Chinese Christians, Jim Eliot and his team, Christians in Muslim nations.... It isn't exactly a hall of fame I want my name listed in. Does that make me shallow? Does that make me less of a Christian?

If nothing else, it makes me an honest one to admit that, I guess. Luckily for me, God is in the business of making new hearts and I am a willing vessel in that regard. As He changes my heart, I hope it will result in my caring less and less about the things which keep me from a heart, soul & strength love for the Lord. For now, I hope He will accept my humble adaptation from one of my favorite prayers in Scripture:

I love you, Lord. Help my lack of love for you.

Tipping the Scales

“You are forgiving and good, O Lord, abounding in love to all who call to you.” (Psalm 86:5)

At first glance, this verse sounds so beautiful and wonderful and lovely. Because at first, I apply it to myself. But then I start thinking about the people who have committed atrocities beyond my wildest imagination and yet who have come to call to God and I struggle with the truth of this verse. For, just as He forgave my sins, He forgives theirs as well. I have such a strong desire for justice over mercy. I know people who prefer mercy over justice - they are such beautiful, gentle, loving and kind people. But I totally know that is not me. I want justice. I want God to have his vengeance. I want people to know the fear of the Lord. Especially people who have done heinous acts against the innocent. And yet I know my God, when asked, forgives liberally - for there are no degrees of sin in His eyes. How can that be?!

I am realizing over and over how much I need to see my sin as equal to that of the worst criminal on record. That is such a hard thing for this justice-seeker to do. But God, in his unfathomable love for me and his infinite sense of humor has been showing me, little by little, just what a deprived being I am. I am wretched. Oh what gracious love is this, that God would die for me! That he would forgive my wrongdoings - my daily acts of insult and injustices against His glory! How sweet the taste of mercy over that of bitter man-made justice.

I don't have to understand how God balances mercy and justice so perfectly. It will take more than my lifetime to comprehend the depths of either of these attributes of God. Knowing this, I have a choice to make. I can consistently focus on the justice - which historically for me results in my frustration and doubt of God's character - or I can turn to His mercy - which will carry me to the heights of His love for me and will amaze me with splendor like I have never seen.

So, why the preference for justice? In this light is seems really dumb. I think I need to get over that one!

Same But Different... No, Different But Different

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” (Ephesians 4:2)

Living as becomes you] with complete lowliness of mind (humility) and meekness (unselfishness, gentleness, mildness), with patience, bearing with one another and making allowances because you love one another. (Amplified)

In light of all this, here's what I want you to do. While I'm locked up here, a prisoner for the Master, I want you to get out there and walk—better yet, run!—on the road God called you to travel. I don't want any of you sitting around on your hands. I don't want anyone strolling off, down some path that goes nowhere. And mark that you do this with humility and discipline—not in fits and starts, but steadily, pouring yourselves out for each other in acts of love, alert at noticing differences and quick at mending fences. (The Message 4:1-3)

I love what can happen when you see multiple translations side by side like this. "Humble" takes on "lowliness of mind" and "making allowances" gets added to what it means to "bear one another." Such richness!

These comparisons also give me the opportunity to consider the differences in meanings and wrestle with each possibility. I don't know that I agree with The Message's take - how does "humility and gentleness" result in a steady pouring out of oneself? And how is being "alert at noticing our differences" a good thing that results in "bearing one another in love?" Hmm.. I don't know. I guess I can see the humility leading to being more steady in our walk... It probably is more often than not a matter of my pride which keeps me from the road God has called me to travel. So, okay, I will buy that one. But since when does pointing out differences result in greater love for one another? That certainly doesn't seem to be the case as I look around at different denominations and sanctions of the Church. We don't seem to appreciate differences we find in one another. To me, it seems we (myself included) judge differences and don't like them very much. Perhaps that's why the humility and gentleness come FIRST in the list? Certianly, if we are humble, we gain the ability to see our differences as interesting instead of divisive.

And, let's not loose sight of what the Amplified says - we do all this out of love for one another. "Eye, there's the rub." Why doesn't the Church love it's members? Why do we fail so miserably at this? It enrages me. We have lost such a huge part of our witness when we are turned inward dealing with our own "disputes." And lately, I have realized just how much I participate in this. We simply have to stop. But, again, I am brought back to trying to figure out how to do this while also "noting our differences." Because my assumption is the way to create unity in the body is to focus on the areas of agreement. The areas of sameness. And apparently, we are supposed to be alert to our differences and not let them get to us. Whew! That is a toughy, at least for me! I guess that's where the power of the Holy Spirit comes in!

This is one I will have to meditate on and work out with fear and trembling for quite some time...

Child-like, Not Childish

“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.” He took a little child and had him stand among them. Taking him in his arms, he said to them, "Whoever welcomes one of these little children in my name welcomes me; and whoever welcomes me does not welcome me but the one who sent me." (Mark 9:35-37)

It's probably because I really need a nap, but the first thing that struck me in this verse was "sitting down." Why do you suppose the author thought it important enough to include this? Would Jesus' statements following made any difference had he remained standing? Or maybe it is simply to show that he was tired. He had just spent a long day dealing with people, and we know how exhausting that can be. Then he tried to clue his best friends in on what was troubling him - his death was approaching and he knew it, and they totally didn't get it. Instead, they argued amongst themselves about which one of them was his favorite. So, when they finally got to where they were staying that night, I wonder if Jesus was a little bit fed up. He tried to get them to admit to what they argued about, but no one would. And can you blame them? Who would admit to being so juvenile as to fight about such a thing? "I'm better." "No, I am." "He likes me more." "Does not." "Does too." "Nu-uh." "Ya-huh." The disciples had to have felt like such fools at that moment.

So what does Jesus do? He tells them about the importance of serving each other and then he sees a child and tells the 12 they need to welcome a child.

What? Isn't that what they were just feeling stupid about? They were acting like spoiled children on the road, then they felt bad about that, then Jesus tells them to act like children? I wonder how confused they were!

To the 12, within 2 short statements he informs them that he knew EXACTLY what they were fighting about, and that, even though they feel stupid now for acting so childish, they are on the right track - they just need to take that idea even further. "Yes!" Jesus says. "Act like children. But not in a jealous, self-seeking way. Be like the child in your pursuit of me - have an innocent, full-bodied pursuit of holiness."

I know there are a lot of other ways to take these verses, but today, this view appeals to me. Perhaps because I can identify with the 12 who fought about which one of them was better and I can identify with the moment of Holy confrontation, when I feel foolish and like a child. I appreciate the message God has for me in this - "yes, be like a child, Erin, but not in this way. Be like a child in how you love me." Then I see images of my children squealing and running to the door when I get home after a short absence, or the joy they express at time spent with me, or the quiet, tender moments of snuggling, wrapped up together on the couch. Oh, yes, Father... let me love you like that.

I Don't Get It

“God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” (John 4:24)

I did some poking around and was really discouraged by the process. I wanted to find something that shed light on what it means to worship in spirit and truth. I didn't find anything. I found some stuff that talked about "God is spirit" was a way to refer to the Triune nature of God, but nothing to elaborate on, what to me is the more important part of the verse, which is how we are supposed to worship Him.

I just wanted to avoid my post being about Christian cliches by saying things about how we are to transcend our own sinful natures and worship should come from a place of purity and how if we truly want to be worshipers we cannot do this apart from the truth - the Word, but I don't really trust this take on this verse. Mainly because I don't think the text supports this interpretation. If John had meant truth as it refers to the Word of God, I think it would have been stated "the Truth."

So, for now, I am stuck wondering what this verse really means and am still sick enough to not have the mental capacity for figuring it out.

I'm Taking a Sick Day

“God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth.” (John 4:24)

So I am still totally sick and all I want to do is go to bed. I have been mulling this verse over in my mind today and I really want to do a word study on "spirit" and "truth" but I honestly don't have it in me tonight.

Pray this cold goes away so I can do my posts and the umpteen gagillion other activities needing to be done around here. God Bless!

Time to Get in the Game

“For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:12-13)

I am sick - came down with a cold yesterday and didn't get around to doing my post. I knew this was the verse for the day yesterday and I think it is ironic. Perhaps I am under attack? I really wanted to rally and post anyway, but needed to go to bed desperately, so I succumbed to the battle.

What I did get to do yesterday, however, is mull this verse over for quite a bit of the day - FINALLY - I am experiencing the reason why I chose to do this experiment. I actually "meditated" on the Word for the day, as opposed to rushing through the contemplative process!

Here's what occurred to me:

We (okay, I) fail miserably at fully comprehending and applying the truth of this verse. EVERY TIME I am annoyed, upset, hurt, angry, frustrated by the actions of someone else I need to recognize that ULTIMATELY they are not the enemy. Satan is. Sin is. How would this change my approach to handling situations?

First of all, I believe it would drive me to my knees in prayer way more often.

Secondly, I believe my whole struggle to love others would resolve on its own - whenever I consider that someone is under spiritual attack, my knee jerk response isn't criticism, judgment, sarcasm or annoyance - it is compassion and love. And a longing to see them set free.

Thirdly, I would be decked out in my armor more often and more intentionally. (Let's hope the armor of God is another verse that gets tossed my way in the next ten days so I can reflect more on that later, as that's an entry all in itself.)

And Lastly - If this was my response to the conflict (everything from issues with my family members to frustrations about our government) I would find myself in the heat of the battle, right on the front lines, which is where I believe the miraculous takes place and God reveals His Supreme Glory. I have lamented at times that I don't witness the supernatural wonders Jesus promises us (John 14:12). Perhaps I am not exposed to them because I don't actively participate in bringing them about.

Love My Enemies (and family and friends, too)

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.” (James 4:10)

Let me get this straight. If I consider myself lowly, a servant of others, put others' needs before my own, and let go of my pride then God will make me important and above others? I cannot possibly have that right because if I did, the humility would be a false humility so as to acquire the new status, right? That cracks me up. It's like saying, "if you make sure you really, really don't want X (i.e. a baby), then God will give you one." In order to get what you want, you need to not want it. That just seems silly. I must have it wrong. Lemme see what the commentary has to say.

Mmm... interesting. The IVP commentary made reference to humility in regards to when others treat you poorly. The point they made was that when we refuse to retaliate and refuse to allow anger and hatred toward people who quite frankly deserve it based upon their unjust treatment of us (or someone we love, or a cause we are passionate about) then God will lift us up by His grace to a place where we can love these very same people. We find ourselves in a place where it is possible to "love our enemies."

While this makes a lot more sense, it certainly doesn't seem any easier. Especially when, for me, my need for humility has a lot more to do with my treatment of people I do love, let alone people I hate! I guess my standards are a little lower than James'. I would feel victorious if I could refrain from the biting sarcasm with which I reply to most of David's utterances, or the complaining I do in my head about my close friends when they fail to function exactly like me. If I master these aspects of my pride and self-centeredness, maybe I will be ready to deal with the really nasty people in my life. Maybe... just maybe...

Stuff to Think About

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

What I know is True:
God loves me. The Gospel. God's word. David was chosen by God to be my husband. My children are a gift from the Lord. God has a plan for my life - for such a time as this. The Church is the Family of God, the body enlisted to do His works on earth.

What I know to be Noble:
My husband's love for me and my family. The mountains. An empty, candlelit sanctuary at night. Defending those weaker than yourself from oppression.

What I know to be Right:
Caring for my family. Prayer. Protecting babies, widows and orphans.

What I know to be Pure:
Love. The prayers of my children and the things they teach me about God.

What I know to be Lovely:
God's creation unmarred by mankind, dancing in worship, a baptism, fresh fallen snow, the colors of spring, the sound of the waves and the warmth of the sun.

What I know to be Admirable:
Fighting for freedom, knowing the word of God by heart, a gentle spirit, being organized, possessing and exhibiting the fruits of the Spirit.

What I know to be Excellent:
High-quality chocolate in the company of friends, the friendships I have, the family God placed me in, God's provision, God's protection, music inspired by God.

What I know to be Praiseworthy:
The Lord God Almighty and Jesus His Son. For who He is, for what He's done and what He promises to do.

We've Got a Long Way to Go

“ Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” (Galatians 6:1)

I have little to say about this verse mainly because I have never witnessed this done correctly in a body of believers. I have seen those caught in sin gently dismissed, but never restored.

I could go into a whole lot of ugly details here about fallen leaders and churches who either led them right into the fall or hid their eyes in the midst of it. But what good would come of that? The reality is, for whatever reason, true biblical accountability and reconciliation seem to be in massive short order. I wish I knew why.

Perhaps it is the stubborn Yankee American independent personality. Perhaps it is for fear of rejection or making things messy. Perhaps it is because we are all so consumed with our own sin we don't consider ourselves "spiritual" enough to hold others accountable. I don't know.

I believe this may be one of the number one reasons we do not see further advancement of God's kingdom in New England. I think as a culture and as a church we are too afraid of offending people and too afraid to speak the truth. I also think part of the reason we fear these things is the know-how we are missing regarding confronting others in love. God knows I'm no good at that. I can think of some people I know who aren't very good at it either. Where does one go for training? Ahhhh... I know the answer is Jesus, but it sounds like a psychologist to me... (that's a a poor reference to a good joke). I would say let's look at how Jesus confronted people, but his example is a tough act to follow. He was pretty bold, and certainly didn't concern himself with being politically correct or using the acceptable labels (or non-labels). He just came out with it. "That's not your husband, but you have had many of them," for example. The KEY difference? I think each and every person who encountered Jesus first FELT and KNEW they were loved and accepted, no matter what. Sure is a lot easy to take criticism under that premise.

Considering my post from a few days back regading how much I don't really like people, I guess I have a long way to go before I can approach anyone with an attitude of "gentle restoration." May God have mercy on me, a sinner.

Make it a Wise Day

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”- James 1:5

I wondered what sort of "wisdom" this verse was referring to and looked it up. In Greek it is sophia and here are a few of the possible definitions:

1. skill in the management of affairs
2. devout and proper prudence in intercourse with men not disciples of Christ, skill and discretion in imparting Christian truth
3. the knowledge and practice of the requisites for godly and upright living
4. supreme intelligence, such as belongs to God

Let's just say I would be happy with #1, let alone any of the others! So, today, I am going to take down my post-it that says "Lord, fill me with your Spirit," and replace it with "Lord, fill me with your Spirit and give me wisdom for this day."

Once again I am faced with my overwhelming tendency to go it alone each day. Sure, I check in with God here and there, but for the most part, I am on autopilot with the dial set to "My Way or the Highway," or "The Way I've Always Done It." No wonder I often feel like I have accomplished nothing but a headache from banging my head against the wall by the end of the day. Duh!

As much as I hate to admit it, a couple of my dear friends are right. They have been drilling it into my head (I don't think on purpose, which is kind of ironic) the importance of Intentionality. We cannot function with wisdom, or with the Spirit, or with the Lord on the throne of our lives if we do not first seek wisdom, seek the Spirit, and seek the Lord. I really long to live as Christ's ambassador and a true princess of the Almighty King. But to do so I need to live in a different state of Spiritual awareness. Life isn't about the daily grind or making it through the next 24 hours. Instead, life is about taking purposeful, directed steps closer to God. Wisdom will definitely come in handy for that! And if the laundry fails to get done as a result... oh well!

I Want It Now...please, Sir?

7 Keep on asking and it will be given you; keep on seeking and you will find; keep on knocking [reverently] and [the door] will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who keeps on asking receives; and he who keeps on seeking finds; and to him who keeps on knocking, [the door] will be opened. - Matthew 7:7-8

This is from the Amplified Bible, I know it is a little wordy, but I loved the additional insights it provided to this too-well-known, often-misused verse.

Take for instance, "Keep on asking..." How often do I ask for something and expect IMMEDIATE results? I am so a product of the "I want it, and I want it NOW" culture we live in! But here, Scriptures clearly indicate that God doesn't work that way (like we needed to be told that, right?!). We have to ask more than once. Like the widow with the judge.

Do you wonder why God makes us do that? It certainly isn't for His sake. In the process of the repeated asking we are given an opportunity to evaluate what we are asking for. For example, in my own life, I have asked and asked and asked and asked for babies... a truck load of them. God has blessed me twice with a "yes" answer, which to my dismay, has only fueled my desire for more of them. But lately what I am finding is a shift in my asking. I don't ask for a baby anymore, not in the same way. God has opened my field of vision to include other possibilities for the purposes He has for me. As we are forced to ask and ask and ask...what we long for changes. In the process of having to wait on the Lord, he transforms us more and more into the image of his Son. Slowly, painfully at times, I have become aware of that change in my heart. The new request becomes not "give me this, I want that, solve this, fix that." The new request becomes simply, "Not my will, Lord, but Thy will be done."

The other thing that strikes me is that there is a particular way we are to do the asking. We are to "reverently knock." I have to laugh here, because this has NOT been my approach to the Throne of God in the past. I have stomped my feet, crossed my arms, cried, screamed, pouted - you name it, all in an attempt to get God to give me what I want. I have even tried the, "if you really loved me, you would..." Isn't that hilarious in a pathetic sorta way?

Now before I get the wrong idea, switching tactics to "reverent knocking" doesn't mean I will get what I want. That attitude misses out on the reverent part. Merriam-Websters says this about reverence: It is profound adoring and awed respect.

This really challenges my ideas of approaching God as a buddy who I can say anything and everything to. While I am not arguing against doing that, sometimes I think we get a little too familiar with the Creator of All Things. It's just like when Bo approaches me with that tone or a phrase that sounds disrespectful. "Woah," I say to him. "Save that talk for when you are with your friends. That's not how you talk to your mother." And even though I want Bo to know and feel he can trust me and come to me with anything, there is a right and a wrong way to do so. In our "Jesus is my best friend culture" I believe we have lost some of the reverence for the Lord. At least, I know I have. Time to get myself to a cathedral or the ocean during a storm. Time to humble myself and start reverently knocking, seeking the Giver of Life and His will for mine.

A National Harvest

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that naturewill reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.” (Galatians 6:7-8)

I believe it was John Piper, who recently was commenting on our nation and some Christians' concerns about the ramifications of national policies regarding abortion, gay marriage, banning prayer in schools, etc... I loved what he had to say. Basically, he was suggesting that the ramifications are the acts themselves. The consequence of legislation allowing for these things is that they happen. In other words, we sow an environment where children can be murdered, families can be broken and schools can be Godless therefore we reap children being murdered, families breaking apart and Godless schools. Piper said we should stop looking for the "punishment" of God - we were already living it.

I think this is so true. I think we tend to expect God to unleash his rage upon our nation for the bad choices we are making in some sort of dramatic way - but what can be more dramatic than what I wrote above? I think expecting something more only reveals the desensitization we've gone through to think that something more severe is necessary.

Yesterday, when I found myself and the larger Christian community holding our breath, waiting to see what atrocities will befall us over the next four years (and quite possibly 8) I was struck with how wrong that approach is. Scott from Air1 radio was talking about the book of Daniel. He was pointing out that King Darius and King Nebe-K (hopefully you know who I mean as I am not looking up how to spell that) were HORRIBLE. Akin to Hitler, horrible. And yet, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abenny didn't have secret meetings where they freaked out about the state of the Jewish people (which was WAY worse than ours, by the way) and where they shook their head in disbelief at the culture around them. NO. They had Out In the Open Prayer Meetings where they humbily lifted up their nation and its leaders.

Let's wonder for a minute what would have happened if, instead, they had reaped fear, anxiety, and frustration. What would have happened? What actually happened? God unleashed miracle after miracle which resulted in BOTH kings turning their hearts to God and nationally declaring the Lord was the One True God to a polythiestic pagan culture.

We have a choice right now. We can either continue sowing negative rhetoric, where we are sarcastic, critical, judgemental and doubtful or we can get on our knees before The Commander in Cheif, The King of All Kings, The One who TRULY holds the Highest Office in our Land and PRAY.

My heart is breaking for the Obama family right now. They are such a target for so much hate. Those beautiful girls. PRAY. That marriage. PRAY. Michelle Obama's mother will be living WITH THEM in the White House. PRAY. The intense amount of pressure and stress they, but especially Barack will be under every day. PRAY.

We can reap a harvest of protection, love, guidance, humility, respect, and peace... but it will depend on what we sow. The condition of this nation is not about their political policies. It's about our prayer.

Spiritual Vasovagal Syndrome

“ Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.” (James 1:2-3)

Ummm... ooookaaaaay.... You know how God will focus on a certain theme in your life for awhile where the same message keeps popping up all over the place? At least, this is what God does to me - I think he needs to get really repetitive in order for messages to sink in. I have a lot of, "Oh! Was that You, God? Were you talking to me?" moments.

So, lately, the running theme has been in regards to facing trials and being tested. There's been a lot about what you need to do to prepare and how God is there and will get your through it, etc, etc. and I can't help but want to send out an APB to everyone I know saying "PRAY FOR ME! SOMETHING'S COMING!!!!"

And I keep having to remind myself that God is Good, He is powerful, He loves me and I don't need to freak out.

I also have to convince myself that perseverence is a good thing and I would benefit from having some more of that in my life. But I approach this verse the same way I approach a blood draw. I get the lab slip. It sits on my desk. It sits. It sits. It sits. I run out of my medication which cannot be refilled until I get the results BACK from the blood draw. The lab slip sits on my desk another week. I start to feel yucky because I haven't taken my thyroid medication in over a week. With great fear and trepidation I take the slip to the lab. I sit. I pray. I quake. They call my name. They begin to lead me to "The Chair." I choke out the words, "I'm a pass-out risk," my palms already sweaty. They quickly redirect me to "The Bed." "What helps?" they ask. "Distraction. Keep talking." "OK." and then the wonderful nurse chatters away, asks questions, makes jokes. At some point in the midst of that I feel the familiar, uncomfortable pinch. I tense up and then try to remind myself to relax...reeeelaaaaax... then, it's over. And I have made it. And I get some juice.

That is PRECISELY how I approach this verse and the "testing of my faith." Hoo-boy, palms are sweaty already... yep...pray for me.

Accountability Anyone?

“So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.” (Matthew 7:12)

So, if Jesus came to fulfill the Law, does that mean we don't have to do this? Just kidding.

I wish time had a pause button. If it did, then just before I was about to treat someone in a way other than how I want to be treated, I could push Pause and evaluate the situation for a moment to come up with a more appropriate action. Then release the Pause and do the right thing. In my own experience, most of the time when I am way off base in my actions, it is spur-of-the-moment, spontaneous, knee-jerk reaction to whatever. Rarely do I pre-meditate and then chose the wrong path when given the opportunity to process first. But, rarely do I get the opportunity to think through things before responding or acting and inevitably end up treating people poorly. Typically those "people" are the ones closest to me whom I love the most.

It's times like these when I realize the depravity of my own heart and how much I need Jesus.

Another take on this verse, though I have no idea if it is intended or not, is this: Being really honest with others, especially in the area of accountability. When I think about how I want to be treated, one component I wish for is loving, respectful accountability and honesty. I want to know when my actions don't reflect Jesus. I want to know where others see God at work in my life. But I don't necessarily treat others this way. Hmm... why not? I guess because a.) I don't have confidence in my ability to come across as loving and respectful. and b.) because I don't know if it works to offer this relational dynamic without being given permission. Our culture doesn't seem very open to this type of interaction.

Maybe the order of those observations is the key - maybe it is by being someone who is loving and respectful of others, you find yourself in relationships where the accountability dynamic occurs more naturally and evolves from the place of trust. Trust which has been groomed by the love and respect. (This certainly hold true for the very few relationships I have that sort of have this.)

Which certainly explains why I don't see this dynamic in many of my relationships. May God cause my heart and my actions to overflow with love for others, that I may live according to this verse and see depth and strength of relationships where accountibility is a welcome, natural byproduct of love and respect for one another. He and I sure have some work to do!

Warrior Humility

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.” (1 Corinthians 10:13)

The Amplified Bible explains that "no temptation or trial has come to you that is beyond human resistance and that is not adjusted and adapted and belonging to human experience, and such as man can bear."

In Beth Moore's introductory session for her study of Esther she shares a fear she held for a long time regarding experiencing "the dark night of the soul." She shares that she told God she could never live through that kind of trial. So, what did God do? Silenced himself so she would experience that which she so greatly feared. Why did he do that? So she would see that she could live through the perceived absence of God in her life and it would not destroy her.

The message I get from this verse above and Beth's testamony is a relatively simple one. If I do not hold tight to the truth of God's word regarding temptation and trials, and I allow myself to be afraid of experiencing them, God just might decide to get me over that fear the hard way, by proving me wrong.

Fearing something bad happening is telling God that His word, His grace, His mercy, His love, His protection, do not apply to me. How arrogant of me! It is so self-centered and prideful. "Oh, I know someone who has dealt with X (adultery, death of a child, cancer, etc) and survived, but I couldn't. I know I couldn't." - This initally sounds like humility or "low self esteem" or even lack of faith on my part. But if I really unpackage what I am saying, it is a form of boasting. "I'm a bigger mess than you are, so God would't be able to help me."

How funny in a sick sorta way. But it is true. We often hear about humility in the context of power struggles, appropriate placement of priorities and servitude. Humbling ourselves before the Lord means being willing to apply ALL the verses of Scripture to our lives. Sometimes, this is going to mean more than laying down our lives for another, or going where the Lord will lead. At times, at least in my own life, humility is going to look an awful lot like warrior-strength, fearlessness and confidence.

God is bigger than my biggest fears. I better humbly admit that, or He just might prove it. And if my biggest fears come about even after I have embraced the truth of this verse, the rest of the verse becomes all the more important - God will not give me more than I can bear.