Daddy's Girl

THEREFORE BE imitators of God [copy Him and follow His example], as well-beloved children [imitate their father].

2And walk in love, [esteeming and delighting in one another] as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us, a slain offering and sacrifice to God [for you, so that it became] a sweet fragrance. ^**

Woah. What a verse. I feel like this is one I could work on every day for the rest of my life and still not quite get there. Copy God!?! Walk in Love?!? But then I think of my son right now - who is at that great age when Daddy is better than a hot fudge sundae. I hear on a regular basis from Bo about how he wants to be just like his daddy in each and every way - from the way he works to the way he looks. Everything about his Dad is perfect and worthy of imitation.

That said, I sure do complicate my faith and my relationship with God. Scriptures tell us to become like a child. This is such great advice. Bo's ability to see his daddy as the "be-all-end-all" is the result of a few factors, which certainly apply to Abba even better:

1. David's actions: Bo's adoration is the natural response to the one who provides for him, who protects him, who guides him, who disciplines him, who spends time with him, plays with him and loves him no matter what. Without exception, when I consider the work of God in my life - his loving care, provision, guidance...I am moved to tears with gratitude and want to be just like Him.

2. Bohdan's youthfulness: I started questioning what happens to us that makes us stop looking at our parents as our heros as become teens (that was me, anyway). I thought about how much the world around us affects the views we have. I realized that each and every time Bo hear's me speak disrespectfully to David, or speak of him in a way that is dishonoring, Bo is learning that his Daddy "ain't all that." I thought about every show on TV (or movie) that portrays fathers as stupid, lazy, clueless, manipulatable, etc (there are MANY) and the impact this has on the respect for the role of fatherhood. And I thought about the times we mess up as adults, especially in our parenting, and the way this contributes to the "demotion" of the dad. Thank the Lord, He will never mess up, so that isn't an issue... but what about the other stuff? How many messages do we get in a day that are contrary to the Truth of Scripture and that try to convince us that Our God isn't All Powerful - isn't this really what SELF-help material is saying? Or that He doesn't have our best interest at heart - isn't that what consumerism and materialism is all about? Or that "He" doesnt' really even exist - the message of relativism, humanism, evolutionism? I could go on and on.

I don't want to sound militant about tuning out, shutting off, and being unplugged; but I just don't even realize how often I am being fed stuff that is degrading to my Heavenly Father. If I am so convicted by my own contribution to the demotion of David in the eyes of my own children (that was a serious blow to me today), how much more should I be aghast at my willingness to expose myself (and my family) to messages that make the Almighty Father seem anything less than perfect?

Today, I crawled up into my Daddy's lap, gazed into His beautiful Glory and proclaimed, "Daddy, I want to be just like you!" His reply, "Oh, my dear, sweet daughter...thanks to my Son, you already are." May I live in that reality and refuse to listen to the world around me. My God is so Great!

**This is from the Amplified Bible, which is one of my favorite translations because the words get broken down into all their possible meanings. (What can I say, I was an English major!)

Ready for Anything

“ Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:13)

Prepare your minds for action! I love that! Thems sounds like fightin' words! And you know what? They are. Check out how the Amplified Bible words it:

So brace up your minds; be sober (circumspect, morally alert); set your hope wholly and unchangeably on the grace (divine favor) that is coming to you when Jesus Christ (the Messiah) is revealed.

Brace up - you only do that when a storm is coming. The mental storms my brain goes through are astonishing at times. But guess what? It's all in my head. The enemy sure does know how to get us, doesn't he? Which is why this verse is so great. Remember a few posts back, when I was frustrated about all the directives God gives us without the step-by-step instructions for successful implementation? This verse comes directions to follow! Woo-hoo!

We know we are in the midst of a war. The war is over our hearts. Even as Christians, (I dare say especially as Christians) we are under attack constantly. Satan uses whatever he can to keep us from living victoriously. In my case, one of his favorite instruments is my own mind. But God gives me directions right here on how to deal with that - set my hope wholly and unchangeably on the divine favor of Jesus. By doing so, I will be "morally alert." And when I am morally alert I will recognize evil for what it is and be able to rebuke it in the name of Jesus.

But, for the sake of sticking to my favorite question, "How do I set my hope wholly and unchangeably...?" This morning I checked out my verse-of-the-day briefly before sprinting into the day, knowing I would have time later (now) to write. About an hour later I found myself trying to remember what the verse was. I couldn't. I was then struck with my own ability to utterly dismiss anything that isn't immediately involved in my life. Woah. Outa sight outa mind, as it's said. I think the only way I can set my anything (hope, mind, heart, etc) wholly and unchangeably is to mull it over and over and over. The way I fret over parenting for example. Or my infertility. The problem is, my parenting and infertility, and anything else that isn't God doesn't provide one ounce of hope and certainly leaves me totally exposed to the arrows of the enemy. I think we are told to hand over the cares of this world to the Lord so we can be mentally and emotionally freed up to dwell on the things of Him and be ready for action. We set our hope by choosing not to set it on the things of this world. By turning those over to God. Instead, we set our hope and the Truths we know from His word (which we only know by reading it).

That action may not always be a battle.. even though that is how I initially read it. That action may be the very thing I'm always longing for - an "assignment" from God. That is so flipping exciting! I don't want to miss that because I am too mentally busy with junk. I will instead, look to meditate on the things of God as much as possible so that my hope is set on Him.

Lord, I want to be prepared for whatever is coming. Whether it be an attack or an assignment... Bring it on. My hope is in you, Lord. I'm ready.

A Shower and A Sermon

“wash and make yourselves clean. Take your evil deeds out of my sight! Stop doing wrong, learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow.”- Isaiah 1:16-17

LOL! I cracked up when I read the first part of this verse this morning. I think the biggest "negative" impact having children has had on my life has been in the way of personal hygiene. Seriously... showers have become a luxury. So, as I sit here, in my PJ's and fuzzy robe, UN-showered (sorry, but I refuse to publicly admit when my last one was) I am going to - in the most hypocritical way possible - write about the importance of being clean. God sure loves irony.

Thank God for a different experience today with His Word. Looking at this verse, I think I could write a whole sermon (if not sermon series) on this verse. I will try to BRIEFLY mention the main points I received from it this morning:

1. Wash and Be Clean: I need to make sure I am not so low on my own priority list that I fail to practice personal and spiritual hygiene. I cannot stop doing evil and learn what is right unless I have taken time to "clean up" through prayer, fellowship with other believers, reading His Word, proper rest, eating right, staying fit, and maintaining order (and, let's face it, the occasional shower).

2. God expects us to act. A lot of the time, I hear Christians talk about how everything we do is done in the power of God, or how it is the Spirit in us that overcomes. These are true statements of Faith. They are not excuses for inaction on our own part. God has given us some degree of "power" over our lives. If he is "yelling" at us to "take our evil deeds out of his sight, stop doing wrong and learn what's right" then obviously we have the ability to do these things. Yes, we need to pray for God's help. Yes, we need to be filled with the Spirit. But we also need to just be obedient. I would never insist that my kids perform a task they are developmentally incapable of accomplishing. God won't either. A lot of the time my children will begin to whine when I ask them to do something. "I caaaan't. I need yoooour help. You need to dooooo it" the whimper. Honestly, it makes my blood boil and I want to smack them! Why? Because I know they are perfectly capable of doing what I have requested without me. Sometimes I will give in and help, sometimes I won't and I will insist they do it on their own. What if God is like this, too? God: "Stop doing what is wrong." Me: "I caannn't. I need yoooour help. You need to dooooo it." God: "Good grief, Erin. I have given you all you need to be able to do this on your own. Do it. Now. Because I said so." Yup... I don't think I can use "needing the Spirit" as an excuse for disobedience. If I'm smart enough to see through that one with my kids, I am betting God is smarter.

3. (Last point, because, I happen to know all "good" sermons are "Three-point sermons." :P) Defend the cause of the fatherless and plead the case for the widow.
OK - Who of us actually does this? Seriously. If you are reading this and can give me a TANGIBLE (praying for orphans and widows does not count) way that you specifically defend orphans and/or plead the case for widows, I want to know about it. I am pretty sure God cares a lot about these two people groups (He mentions them a bunch!) and I am pretty sure I personally totally let him down here. Don't try to make me feel better by telling me, "you adopted." We all know defending the fatherless was NOT my motivation in adopting. Don't bring up Meme either - she hates it here and is moving out in February. I guess the one way we do anything for either of these groups is to support a Compassion International child and an EEO family. But honestly, that feels so removed and is dangerously close to a "check that off our list" approach to something God sure seems awful passionate about. I need to discuss this one more with David. How can we as a family effectively defend the fatherless and plead the case of the widow? I'm anxious to hear your ideas! In the meantime, I think I should go take a shower!

Time well spent

“He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.” (Micah 6:8)

Well, we have arrived. I knew it was coming, but I had hoped I would get further into the 40 days before it happened. I am to a verse that doesn't really say anything to me and therefore I have nothing to say about it.

So, time for some honesty about my hang-ups with Scripture:
One of the frustrations I have with the Bible is I feel like it is full of directives without much help on the application part. This verse is a great example of that for me. We are directed to act justly and love mercy and walk humbly.

Well, what the heck does that mean? What does that look like? Sometimes I really wish God would spell it all out for me - I don't want to think up my own creative answers. I just want Him to tell me, "Erin, go do X." So I can just go do "X" and not wonder if it is the right "X" or if I was actually supposed to do "Y," or if now is the right time to be doing anything at all... Sometimes I feel like Scriptures are way to open to interpretation and that makes me terrified I will get it all wrong.

Another frustration I have about the Bible is, once I have put my mind to coming up with an answer to questions like the ones above, I don't usually like them. For example, if I ask myself, "what does it mean to walk humbly with God?" My answer sounds something like, "It means to put myself last so I may serve others. It means cleaning up after dinner instead of assuming David will do it while I veg. It means actually NOT thinking other people are stupid all the time but recognizing that doing things differently than me isn't wrong. It means willingly and lovingly setting aside whatever my agenda is so I can play Monopoly Junior for the 6,532 time when asked by my kids. It means trusting God has a better plan for my life than I do and trusting He will reveal the steps I need to take just in time for me to take them.

See? Who would like those answers?

Sometimes I read something from the Bible and think, "God, that sounds great. Lovely idea. But, honestly, I am too tired to do that. Is there something else I can do instead?"

Today, we heard a great sermon about resolutions and how they reveal the gods in our lives that try to steal the limelight from the One and Only, especially if none of our plans for 2009 include anything about God. I didn't really make any resolutions this year yet, mainly because I feel too overwhelmed by "just getting by" every day to bother. That's when it dawned on me. The god I serve more often than not is the god of Leisure. I want down-time more than I want God-time. I want to spend mental energy on vegging in front of a movie, or chatting on the phone more than I want to spend it on studying Scriptures. I want to "deserve a break today" instead of serve those whom I love most in the world - God, my husband and my children.

I don't know how any of this really applies to this verse - except to say that I need to spend some more time today thinking about where I fail and succeed at acting justly, loving mercy and walking humbly. But right now, Vivi has asked me to do a puzzle with her...so I am going to do that instead.

An Open Invitation

“For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men. It teaches us to say "No" to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,” (Titus 2:11-12)

Have you ever considered "grace" to be a teaching tool? I haven't. But it makes sense. Especially in light of what this commentator says (from bible.crosswalk.com):

It [the Grace of God] directs what to shun and what to follow, what to avoid and what to do. The gospel is not for speculation only or chiefly, but for practice and right ordering of life; for it teaches us, (1.) To abandon sin, 2.) To make conscience of that which is good, and (3.) To look for the glories of another world, to which a sober, righteous, and godly life in this is preparative.

Isn't it cool that "grace" is our disciplinarian instead of "chastisement" or "rebuke" or "the Law?" The gospel is our teacher, instead of some seminar, or a pastor, or a church elder board, or self-help book. How often I fail to really learn what's important for going to the wrong source! How often the discipline I receive comes in ways that are hurtful or damaging because I refuse to listen to the soft, gentle voice of God!

Grace is something that is freely given, I know, but just like the advise of a trusted friend, I have to ask for it and then listen to it in order to receive it's benefits. Sometimes I get hung up at the first part - the asking for it, because God doesn't say, "I stand at the door with an ax ready to break in." The enemy would have me believe I am not capable of receiving God's grace and opening the door. Sometimes my own darn stubbornness is enough to dead-bolt the darn thing (dead-bolt? hmmmm.. interesting terminology considering the consequences of refusing God's offer of grace??). But I have found over and over in my life that God's grace works in miraculous ways. Sometimes I feel like opening the door to invite Him in will take breaking into Fort Knox, but choose to get up and walk over to the barricaded door anyway...as I draw nearer to the handle and the locks, the door dissolves into a curtain, and God steps right in. God is so anxious to be with me! And all the courage I had to muster up to face the enemy, my stubbornness or some other obstacle in the way becomes the very invitation God needed to take care of those issues for me.

Even once I have invited God to enter in, I occasionally fail to listen to what He has to say. Sometimes I feel like we are sitting there staring at each other in one of those massively awkward silent moments and I want to scream - "Say Something!" Other times I simply don't like what He says and ignore it (boy, does that get me in a mess!). A lot of the time God is sitting there, waiting to teach me, but instead is watching me running around like a mad woman being completely distracted with dumb stuff like laundry, organizing, cooking, or worse!

So, what has grace taught me? To say no to the ungodliness of the enemy and my own sin and to live with self-control so that I might have the courage to keep the door open this time instead of kicking Him out as soon as He attempts to do something in my life that's scary (like kill my sin nature or make me do something that seems a little too fanatical or charismatic, etc). What I need to do is simply give God an open-ended invitation. Then I need to sit down, shut up, and listen to what He has to say.

Forever and a Day

“Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” (Psalm 90:12)


The "Contemporary English Translation" from Biblegateway.com has this verse reading this way:

"Teach us to use wisely all the time that we have."

Thank God for translations, because now that I have that information, this verse makes sense to me. At first I was not sure what "numbering our days aright" meant! But now I think I get it. While yesterday I was to live as it was my first day, today I am to live as though it were my last. Boy! That was fast.

And that's the point. Live IS fast. And Short. David and I were just talking about how having kids is like putting the rest of your life on "fast forward" permanently. They are such a crazy gauge for how quickly time passes. And too often I live like I have all the time in the world - in so many aspects of my life I do this - I parent like I have tons of time to teach these impressionable people all about Jesus. I treat David as though he will always be there - not stopping to make sure he feels Loved and Cherished and Honored on this very day, in this very moment.

This summer I experienced an amazing event with my dad. I have promised some of you I would tell the story when the time seemed right. I think this is it. It is a story about numbering your days aright and gaining the wisdom to make sure you live with no regrets.

David, the kids and my dad and I went hiking - it was a short, but steep climb up to a great view (one of the best around, in my opinion) but we weren't really sure how the kids would do - it was by far the hardest climb we have tried them on. So we started off with the goal to have a great time seeing how far we could get, but being aware we might not get to that great view.

D & I have done this hike a number of times and have the "tradition" of stopping just over halfway up at this really cool gnarly tree - one that was uprooted ages ago and the root system is all twisted and exposed making peek-a-boo windows here and there amidst the deadwood. When we made it to this spot, our hopes soared as the kids were still raring to go and hadn't once asked to be carried yet - maybe we would make it to the top after all! After a rest and drink of water, the kids were ready to move ahead.

My dad had been sitting on a rock, a short distance from the gnarly tree and hadn't said much. I thought he was just taking in the glimpses of the mountain range peeking from behind the lush green leaves we were just about to break through on our climb. But when he didn't get up when the kids and we were packed and ready to go, something didn't seem right. Sure enough, he had taken a nitro pill because his heart had started to bother him. (This is the same man who has had 3 other "episodes" involving heart stents and such.) He assured us that once the tab had taken affect, he would be fine and we just needed to wait a minute or two. Time passed. The kids played. Dad took another tablet. More time passed. David and I began to worry. The kids begin wondering what was up - not wanting to alarm them, we decided to have lunch by the tree. Dad came over and joined us, but didn't eat much. He popped another nitro instead.

By now, I was definitely starting to freak out inside. We convinced Dad he should lay down, thereby taking some of the stress off his heart and hopefully giving the nitro a better chance at doing its thing.

In the most surreal moment of my life, I found myself leaning up against a rock, my children and husband next to me, my dad's head in my lap with my fingers haphazardly running through his silvery black hair. The sun was shining in God's rays through the breaks in the trees, dancing with the wind. In the distance, seeming to dart and dash about, lay the purple mountains, speckled with the orange, red, yellow, and browns of autumn. There was not a man-made sound to be heard. Whispers of trees and the faint gurgling of a brook was all there was.

A single thought raced through my brain. "This is it. God is going to take my dad to be with Him, now, on this mountainside, with his head in my lap. My daddy is going to die."

Instead of completely losing it though, Peace flooded my soul. The unmistakable, undeniable Peace that Surpasses Understanding. I looked around. "God," I said, "I think it's okay. It makes sense to me that you would have my dad meet you on a mountainside. Thank you for this man. Thank you for loving me so much as to give me a father who so beautifully reflects You." As the tears silently rolled down my cheeks, I paused. "What words should I say to this man who has been my everything - my protector, my provider, my knight, my friend...my daddy? If this is it, what do I need to make sure I say before he goes?"

And that is when I realized, everything I needed to say had been said - so many times. There was no doubt Dad knew how much I love him. Or how much he means to me. Or that I think he was the best possible human Daddy this world has ever known. There was no doubt Dad knew I look ever so forward to hearing him play music for the King of all Kings while I dance around His throne. No doubts. No regrets. Just Peace.

The Lord did not choose to take my dad that day. But if He had, I realized for the first time, I would have been okay. To live with numbered days in my relationships means to live making sure I say what needs to be said as often as I can - no one will ever tire of hearing, "I love you." To live with wisdom means to live knowing eternity is so much longer than today. My dad and I have all the time, not in the world, but out of it. Seemingly contradictory in nature, it was these principles I took home with me from that hike that day. Time here is short, don't waste it and don't take it for granted. Time in Heaven is Forever. Praise the Lord.

It's My First Day

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” (2 Corinthians 5:17)

This is one of those verses I claim on faith. Which I do, most of the time, without trouble. I don't question whether I am truly a new creation. I know I am. But if I am not careful, I can find myself wondering, "how am any different?" - what "old" is gone and what "new" has come? Sometimes I don't see much difference between who I was, say, 15 years ago and who I am today. Sometimes I worry I am not "new enough" yet.

But the reality is that the new "has come." It is already here. There is no process of becoming new or waiting for the arrival of this newness or wondering if I have made it yet. I am already new. And to live with the knowledge I am already new means so much less striving and so much less pressure. It is to live with freedom. It is to live with strength to be able to look at old, negative thoughts, behavior patterns, and emotional baggage and think, "What are you? I certainly don't need you. In fact, I don't even know you. You are not a part of the new me. Go away."

I am as new as I am going to get this side of eternity. I don't need to be any newer, I just need to fully embrace the new and improved me I already am in Christ Jesus. I don't need to look back either, questioning if the old is gone or not. It is gone. Christ took it 2000 years ago. Today, I am going to live like it is my first day. I end with the words from a great song from one of my favorite bands:

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existence
Everyone's here
Everbody's watching you now
Everbody waits for you now
What happens next?

I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
Today never happened before

Welcome to the fallout
Welcome to resistance
The tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be

Maybe redemption has stories to tell
Maybe forgiveness is right were you fell
Where can you run to escape from yourself
Where you gonna go?
Where you gonna go?
Salvation is here.

Dare You to Move by Switchfoot